proudvirgin
Junior Member
Posts: 13
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-13-2006 at 16:10 |
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decisions...decisions
this is going to sound incredibly cheesy but i know that when i met my boyfriend that he could quite possibly be the one i will marry. i fell in love with his antics and the way he speaks to me. he is aware of my space issues. we didn't even kiss for about a week when most couples i know just jump right in. we would stay up all night just talking and learning about each other. there was never an awkward moment, i felt instantly comfortable with him. we are both nineteen and i am at my first year at a university.
we started getting more physical but we still talk a lot. if we didn't talk our relationship wouldnt work. we started by grinding then he would no longer allow it because he said it was not helping me in any way, which i guess is true. i was nervous because i had never even masturbated before and i was going to be no help. i mean i know where everything is anatomically but i just never bothered. as far as pleasure has gone with me was in my head. he started fishing around for my clit and i was nervous because i had no idea how to help and was a tad annoyed at the fishing around. he did find it and just how to work me. its amazing, i think he gets just as much pleasure at watching me get really turned on.
he is always extremely sensitive and caring toward me. we are careful. sex has been discussed but i dont want to yet not at this point in my life. he is not putting any pressure on me.
i just love him and want to be right. i also cannot deal with any chance of getting pregnant, just not now. i would like to have children with him later in life though.
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rabbit22921
Junior Member
Posts: 10
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-13-2006 at 23:38 |
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nice
hey its nice to see people wait your guy sounds cool new to the game one of the best things i can tell u one learn to touch your self get used to cumming two tell your man dont be mad if you dont say somthing im 31 one and learned if you dont ask u dont get no hurry on the sex part touch and feel is more fun my wife and i waited six months first for me 
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proudvirgin
Junior Member
Posts: 13
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-14-2006 at 12:17 |
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learning myself
thankyou, i have been reading this really great site about female health and the psycological part of why i am so backward about my sexuality. Women are raised so differently from men. i feel that sexuality is a taboo subject and i wish it werent. i need to know these things.
my mother was not a bad mother but she has never been open with me. i want to be open but i feel like i was taught that restaint is the best option and anything to do with sex is dirty. i have heard that masturbation is healthy and that you must get to know your own body before sharing it with someone.
i also wish my mother would trust me, she needs to. She would follow me around and lecture and scream and threaten to put me on the pill. i couldn't deal with her, its like she couldn't rationally discuss my life she just had to make accusations. she thinks that i dont talk to her but really i constantly let her know what is going on in my life. sometimes i feel like the adult in our relationship. then i, think that part of her being this is because we abruptly lost my father two years ago. i was more like him and she doesn't know how to talk to me. their relationship wasn't strong, she always badgered him and i cannot recall a single moment in which i saw them kiss. i feel badly for my mother, she lonely and swears to never date again. when i was younger i was afraid that my relationships would be like hers was then i grew up and learned that i am not my mother and i have control. ij just want to have a healthy relationship.
i have not had sex and i have had many opportunities to but it makes me sad that she doesn't know me well enough to trust. i am not one to jump into anything, i know the risks. i just want to get through college. hopefully i can teach myself about my body and what works for me, my boyfriend thought it was strange that i had never even masturbated. i had no explaination for him.
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proudvirgin
Junior Member
Posts: 13
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-14-2006 at 12:43 |
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what is love anyway
i also think that its amazing and a little strange that i am not attracted to anyone else. i am only 19 should i be thinking about marriage. i dont want anyone else, only him. i have talked to many girls briefly and they seem to think that it is strange that i know who i want to be with forever. they are the type that date around a lot. to me i am just in awe that i have found someone who genuinely cares about me and someone that is willing to help me in any way possible, talk to me about everything, loves me and my body. i was not initially attracted to his body it was more the way i felt when i spoke to him. this is a mutual experience for us.
i am making a big deal of this because i have never had it before it just confused me. it hit me all at one like my feet were taken out from under me and when i got up i could see my goals and my love for him more clearly. ok that sounded like my life is completely saturated in this one person. i did say goals and that consisted of everything down to the kind of person i want to be or what career i want to have
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rabbit22921
Junior Member
Posts: 10
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-18-2006 at 07:05 |
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very nice
its very nice to know others feel what i did and man its hard not to just get naked but when the time is right you will feel it and dont give in to other people make your first yours much better i promise are parants are from a whole nother time sex was very no no most ladys never had orgasim or thought about sex bad that kind of thinking so they dont understand how to say its ok to find out what feels good and dont and how to ask for what you need both men and weman are lost in understanding i was luck to find older lady and read tons picked up what i liked and worked left the rest and learned to ask and listen during most weman are suprized or feel nervous but after they get used love they can be open thats when its fun  if you have quetions nice spelling please ask ill tell the truth and not bull it will give a mans point and im open for those who say my advise is wrong only one way to learn ask lots of questions
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rabbit22921
Junior Member
Posts: 10
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-18-2006 at 07:11 |
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add
i feelt the same way and still to this day when i wake i think of her and all day be carefull dont lose u for them loose them very painful almost a year and i still dont date
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virgin22
Junior Member
Posts: 12
Registered: 01-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-18-2006 at 19:16 |
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congratulations
It sounds that you may have found your true love.(frankly I'm a bit jealous)Anyway, I don't think its strange that you haven't felt attracted to anyone else. Personally, I haven't ever actually felt physically attracted to anyone. ifeel more attracted to a woman's mind and personality. bit strange for a guy to say huh? i happen to feel that sex is mostly an emotional experience. of course this may just be because i was raised in a messed up family too. After 30 years of marriage my father decided to start cheating on my mother. Problem was he decided that he needed to introduce the woman he was with to me.
Anyway don't feel alone in worrying about your relationship being like your parents. I felt the same worries myself for some time but we are all different people from our parents. good luck in your relationship. I hope that it is a life long commitment that never looses any of its joy.
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proudvirgin
Junior Member
Posts: 13
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-19-2006 at 00:18 |
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thankyou
thankyou,
its on and of that i get freaked out. i just feel that this is the right move no matter how many people tell me that it is not. i just think he shows more of himself to me. i like how raw and open he is. our attraction was never initially about appearances, but you know he is attractive to me. i think the attraction is created in each person by seeing someone from the inside out, no matter how strange that may sound.
oh i was very um, how shall i put this. i felt awkward trying to teach myself the uh, art of pleasuring myself. i think i have achieved my happy place, thankyou very much.
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proudvirgin
Junior Member
Posts: 13
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-19-2006 at 00:36 |
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mixed enty
Rabbit22921,
i am happy and sad for you all at the same time. happy that you found someone that you will never forget, someone that changed you for life. i am sorry that you do not have her in your life now. i can understand how it would be difficult to move on when you probably have so many memories connected to her.
i agree my mother is from a very different era and she is hard enough to talk to anyway. i try to share insights of my life with her but she still seems to not trust all the time but i just keep reasuring her that i am a capable young women and i have my own mind and opinions. she respects that and i respect that she is looking out for me, she is the one who is more experienced in this world.
i admit that the world is quite scewed and hard to step into. i hardly used to trust my own footing but i feel better like i have slowly come more to an understanding of who i am.
sorry, this is sort of like therapy for me and it helps me to find perspective.
men, uh boys for that matter can be difficult to understand. we are separated now, he didnt come back to the same college. he stayed at our community college and when he calls he is fine unless i am actually out doing something. then he sounds sad like i should be sitting in my room antipating his visit in 5 weeks. i know that he is not this way but it makes me wonder. last semester i was so bogged down with work that i rarely left my room and i had already made it a goal to be more social. i feel that i am succeeding in both except that he sound disapointed. he knows that i love him and would never cheat what is this separation anxiety, he likes to act like he is fine and mr. cool, its strange for me. icant wait to see him
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-19-2006 at 18:29 |
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virgin22
sorry I had to change my account because of some problems. I'm virgin22.
These forums have been rather theraputic for me too. You may want to start a journal of your thoughts. I recently started a web page where I'm doing just that and it seems to help get your thoughts straight.
Anyway, I think your boyfriend may be feeling like you left him behind. This could be the first time that he has felt this way towards anyone just like it has been for you. It seems from the way you describe him that you are very close, and he may just be afraid that your time apart will diminish this.
My opinion is that you should try talking to him about it. Hopefully, your relationship is strong enough that he will be comfortable telling you the truth. Since, I don't know him personally so I cant say for sure but most guys are taught not to feel a need for someone or at least not to show it. When we find these emotions coming to the surface it can be hard to talk about or even understand. I'm not sure I'm fully getting this across. I have a hard time putting my thoughts on paper sometimes.
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-20-2006 at 04:24 |
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confused
The text that was here is gone it was meant for another section and i apologize. I wish I could delete this post
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-20-2006 at 04:28 |
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addition to an earlier post
I had this post here anyway so I thought i may as well use it. I wanted to add that people are driven by encouragement. Men even more so than women. Give him some encouragement every once in a while. Thank him every time that he does something for you. It may be hard but try to make him feel special for having done it in the first place. Also, don't just tell him that you love him. Thank him for being there for you. Tell him your glad that you found someone like him. This will help him feel better about himself and possibly help him feel less left behind.
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proudvirgin
Junior Member
Posts: 13
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-20-2006 at 15:39 |
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i appreciate this
i like to see that there are people in the world that care a little more. that share the thoughts and values that i was raised with. my mother may worry but i retained a lot. i am living in the dorms at a university and it seems like everyone just cant wait to loose their virginiy, like virginity is some awkward disease. yes i just used awkward there but it makes sense to me.
i have been talking to him everyday and i guess lately i have just been telling him that i love him. we used to talk about how we met and how thankful i am for having met him. i believe he knows though.
how i met him was kind of funny because it was out of character for me. in high school i was just fed up with people so i didn't really communicate with many until the last quarter of my senior year. something snapped, i felt that the way i lived was senseless and that life is about people. in art class i was friends with one of his better friends. he would come in and sit with his friend because he got done with school earlier than us. i remembered him but didn't really know him. again with the crazy but i felt drawn to him and just gave him my number on a whim. he looked shocked not really understanding what was happening, i guess girls dont ask him out. well it was the first of april so he thought it was an april fools joke, no joke he called anyway. i love him so much. i was attracted to him not because he was perfect but rather imperfect and not your a-typical guy. he doesn't feel that he needs to be brutish and tough like some of my friends. he is so honest that it hurts most of the time. he never, emphasis on never, says the right thing. there is something mesmerizing about him though
too long, oh well
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proudvirgin
Junior Member
Posts: 13
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-20-2006 at 15:51 |
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college ugg
i dont understand people. my best friend here is one that i met in a studio course so we had lots of time to talk while we worked. we discussed our lives and experiences. we learned that we were both virgins and really proud of that fact, hense my user name. we both agreed that we had similar values and didn't want to give it away unless we were near enough to engagement.
she got a boyfriend a quarter of the way in and in less than a month she claims that she initiated it. i didn't really like that, shes not worried about getting pregnant even though she is not on birth control and happened to use old condoms. i dont feel good about this. i felt betrayed, is that normal? i feel bad saying this but i dont really like the guy because he is uber clingy and is practically sucking on her ear while i am talking to her. i just want to scream " can you stop for the 10 minutes that i need to talk to her, please. thanks yeah. go away. shut the door, yeah"
she doesn't know how to manage her time and is always canceling plans with me. i hate to hurt her feeling but this is frustrating, i always just say, no no its okay.
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-20-2006 at 18:01 |
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I relate
I was glad to find these forums. I was going through a time in my life where I felt alone in the world. It has been nice to find other people with similar values.
Feeling awkward about ones virginity is natural. it has become a bit of a rarity that few people understand these days.
Its beautiful how you met your boyfriend. You never know when there's a higher power guiding you.
I think that its alright you feel a little betrayed by your friend. It sounds like she was a bit of a support base for you and now all that has changed. It seems like you may be a little jealous of the guy because he is taking your friend away.
I wouldn't worry too much about your friend though. Its kind of according to what kind of clingy you mean. Some guys are looking for a new mother in their relationship. Its kind of sick sounding but true. It can be unhealthy not only for him but for her as well.
However, it is probably his clingyness that makes her like him. It makes her feel special that someone could want her that way. Try to feel happy for your friend. Im affraid that this may be one of those cituations where if it is a mistake its one youll have to let her make on her own. I'm affraid if you get involved it could cause you to loose your friend.
Don't worry so much about being normal. The only normal thing in life is feeling abnormal. Everone has those feelings.
Hows this for wierd. Im 6' 2" and a fairly large guy. Not fat or muscular large just broad shoulders and big feet and hands. That being said I'm fairly centimental and even have the urge to cry during some love songs and drama movies. Not to mention I'm a bit of a nerd/geek. if anybody has a problem understanding something in one of my classes (Im going to technical school used to go to college but had some problems getting all the classes I wanted) I'm the guy they ask. I've never had many guy friends. Some of the closest friendships I've had have been with older women, normaly married. Even when I was little I got along better with the girls in my class than I did with the boys. I've probably gone on a little too much but my point is theres no such thing as being normal exept normal for you. Try to feel good about being different. Thats what makes life exciting.
Anyway if you every feel the need to talk, I'm glad to listen. I've really enjoyed your posts and it seems that we think along the same lines. I must say your alot better at putting it into words though.
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proudvirgin
Junior Member
Posts: 13
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-21-2006 at 01:12 |
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rrrraaar do i really need a title for everything?
i am afraid to say anything to her and have come to the realization that she cares for him enough to work our his clingy factor, which she has noticed. but i dont know why one would have sex with someone who had such strong convictions against it, in such a short period of time.
i may live with her next year but in an on campus apartment,so diff rooms but i wonder if it is a mistake, i hope not. oh well if he bothers me i will just stay in my room.
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-21-2006 at 01:51 |
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you noticed that too
You may want to ask your friend why she had sex with him. She felt comfortable enough to tell you that she had so i dont see why she would have too much of a problem with you asking. You never know. she may have felt the same way about him that you felt when you met your boyfriend and thought shes going to marry him anyway why not go on and do it. Just don't make it sound too much like you dissapprove. You may also want to consider letting her know that you're worried about her with the birth control issues. Just let her know your worried about her.
I can't really say if she would be a good room mate. Is she someone you could stand to be around 24/7? It won't really be that way but its something to think about. Good friends don't always make the best room mates. Any room mate will get on your nerves sometimes though. Its hard to live in close quarters with other people sometimes. I will warn you that most dorms and on-campus apartments have paper thin walls. If they are messing around you will probably be able to hear it.
Has he ever actually directly bothered you or do you mean the way he acts with your friend around you.
PostScript
I just want to say that im sorry abou the way Violator responded to your post. He reminds me of all the reasons why I feel disgust toward most men. He seems to have all the bad qualities and backwards thinking rolled into one nasty package. I hope that this is the only time in your life you have to deal with that mentality.
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proudvirgin
Junior Member
Posts: 13
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-21-2006 at 11:42 |
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unsafe
she views birth control as something that is unsafe and could damage her permanently so she never wants to be on it. i dont know if it is something that her mother told her because they didnt used to be as safe as they are today. today they have a low level of hormone and are safer.
no, he has not directly done anything to me. its just i feel that he has no restraint. i dont see her that often and when i do he is practically trying to make out with her infront of me. i just thought it was a little odd because i have never had this happen before. i like guys that know when to stop and he doesn't even stop when she asks. he is nice but a little immature is all.
yes i think she is serious about him. i am happy for her because she is happy and really enjoys being with his family as well, they do a lot together. i was just in shock at how fast her relationship progressed. i didn't see it coming is all.
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-23-2006 at 21:44 |
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finally back
sorry i havent been around for a few days. I had 7 essays and a report to turn in today.
Anyway, your friends fears are undestandable. My mother had some problems with an injected form of birth control. I am fairly sure that it was before the hormones were reduced though. If your still worried about her, you may suggest she go get sized (I cant remember if thats what its called) for a diagphram. You may also suggest that she make him use two condoms. Its getting kind of rare these days but condoms used to occasionally have a pin hole leak in then. Doubled condoms can also make the act last longer by making him less "sensitive". Im sorry if it seems like im giving too much information. I just think if you do talk to her about it you need to be at least a little informed.
I get what you're saying now. I didn't realize that they were making out in front of you. I didn't understand what you meant by clingy. That really can be awkward. It really is something that she needs to work out with him. I don't know how you could help her with it. Maybe they'll cool off after a little while.
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ineedhelp
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 11-05-2006 Location:
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posted on 11-05-2006 at 17:59 |
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help me
im so confused about doing it i mean im 15 and hes 17 we sayt were in luvs but i dont think its real p;ease help me (:)
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